Saying goodbye to an old friend...

I just found out that one of my old friends passed away this week. He was only 29 years old. I've been thinking about our friendship all day. How it dwindled away after I got married, how it all but disappeared when I moved to another state. I feel so incredibly guilty that we weren't as close as we used to be. I used to look up to him as an older brother.

So after a day of guilt and sadness, I've decided that I will no longer dwell on the negatives. I will remember all the good times we shared (and there were a lot). I'll never forget watching the Superman movies in your basement. I'll always remember that it was you that introduced me to chinchillas (amongst your other exotic pets). I'll remember sitting in the back of your grandpa's station wagon looking out the back window pretending to drive. I'll never, ever forget you trying to teach me how to in-line skate and my balance not cooperating at all. I'll remember that week one summer where our families rented a beach house and we would stay up for hours playing cards. I'll remember all the summers spent in your pool in the backyard. I'll remember always the days you would drive us home from school in your fancy Black Mustang. I'll remember the only date we ever went on... my freshman semi-formal. I'll remember you later apologizing for not dancing with me enough... and admitting you always had a crush on me. I'll never, ever forget you sticking up for me when you thought a guy was treating me wrong. I'll always get teary eyed when someone calls me Miss Danielle. The last time I saw you, you walked out of your room and commented that if someone would have told you such a pretty girl was going to be there, you would have dressed up. That was so long ago.

You were the best big brother I never had, and my only regret at this point is that I never told you that. I don't think you would have known how much your passing has affected me. I did care. I still do.